戀愛情商：愛情中一定要做和絕不能做的事

雪白的雪

　　As a psychologist and relationship counselor for over 25 years, I speak from experience when I say there's more to the art of love than we can imagine: people are complex, riddled with flaws and deep desires, desperately seeking to be understood. Practice these 8 relationship dos and don'ts to fortifyyour romance with harmony, stability, and joy:
　　作為一位從業(yè)逾25年的心理學家和情感咨詢師，從經(jīng)驗出發(fā)，我會說：愛的藝術要比我們想象得更高深。人是很復雜的，有令人迷惑的缺點和深層次的渴望，而且非常希望能被別人理解。你可以在情感關系中試試以下8件“一定要”和“一定不要”做的事，讓你們的愛情關系更加和諧、穩(wěn)定、愉悅。

　　Do develop emotional intimacy: Emotional intimacy is knowing what your partner needs before they even get a chance to ask. It is picking up on their feelings as if they were your own. Develop a sense of emotional intimacy by being honest with your partner and sensitive to their needs.
　　一定要建立情感親密。情感親密就是知曉伴侶所需，甚至在他們開口之前你就已經(jīng)知道了。你要關注他們的感覺，就像關注自己的感覺一樣。要建立一種情感上的親密感，你需要和你的伴侶坦誠相待，并敏感地感知他們的需求。

　　Do plan a life together: Our plans may not always work out, but envisioning a future with our partner inspires us to take the right steps towards manifesting our long-term goals. Talk about the years ahead and form a strategy to achieve the things you want together: a home, a family, investments, etc.
　　一定要一起規(guī)劃人生。我們的規(guī)劃不一定會實現(xiàn)，但是和伴侶一起憧憬未來可以激勵我們沿著正確的方向朝著長期目標大步邁進。你們可以談談未來幾年的事，達成一致策略，以實現(xiàn)共同目標：如房屋計劃、家庭計劃、投資計劃等等。

　　Do bring them comfort: Your partner wants to come home to love, not to a headache. Make your home a place that always reels your partner back because they feel safe, stable, and nurtured. Don't start talking about your problems as soon as your partner walks through the door.
　　一定要讓他們感到舒適。你的伴侶希望回家能感受到愛，而不是一回去就頭疼。把你的家打造成一個伴侶心之所系之處，讓他們感覺安全、穩(wěn)定、受到關愛。不要伴侶一走進家門，你就開始傾訴自己遇到的問題。

　　Do act in the right time: Time can be your biggest enemy or your best friend. The wisdom is to recognize when you should act versus when you should wait. Don't obligate your partner to do things in a certain amount of time.
　　一定要在合適的時間做合適的事。時間可以是你最大的敵人，也可以是你最好的朋友。關鍵是你要用智慧分辨出什么時候應該有所行動、什么時候應該耐心等待。一定不要強迫你的伴侶在限定的時間內(nèi)做什么事。